MOTHER: "Thank you."
FRITZ: "Ah, may I see your papers pleeze?"
MOTHER #1: "Er, lemme see ..."
FRITZ: "Hand me your suitcase; let, er, me ... open it. Open it, sir."
MOTHER #1: "I'm just a bit nervous, you understand."
FRITZ: "Open ze suitcase."
MOTHER #1: "This hasn't happened ... too often."
FRITZ: "Aah, I see ..."
MOTHER #1: "See, I, I don't think this ..."
FRITZ: "How many ... 62 packages of cigarettes. [kichern] Why are you carrying all zese into Germany for? What are you doing this for?"
MOTHER #1: "I ... I ..."
FRITZ: "How long have you been living in Berlin?"
MOTHER #1: "Er ... I don't live in Berlin."
FRITZ: "Where do you live?"
MOTHER #1: "I live in Texas!"
FRITZ: "Texas?"
MOTHER #1: "Texas."
MOTHER: "Texas! [kichern]"
FRITZ: "Oh, I see. Lyndon Johnson lives in Texas too, does he not?"
MOTHER #1: "I know - sure does."
FRITZ: "Oh, this is all right."
MOTHER #1: "D'you mind ... Is it alright if I shut my suitcase off?"
MOTHER: "Shut it off?"
MOTHERS: [Gelächter]
MOTHER: "Would you care for one of these cigarettes?"
{FRITZ: "Is the light on? Is the light still on? Oh, good! It's off ... good ... well ..."}
FRITZ: "Now; who's this lady you are wis?"
MOTHER #1: "Er, what lady?"
FRITZ: "This lady here, standing next to you."
MOTHER #1: "Oh, this is, this is, er ... Mrs [unverständlich]!"
FRITZ: "Has she has papers too? Papers!"
"LADY": "Hello."
FRITZ: "Let me see your papers!"
"LADY": "Hi."
MOTHER #1: "How come you have to yell so much? What did we do?"
"LADY": "Savage!"
FRITZ: "I don't yell!"
MOTHER #1: "We're just trying to get into the country."
FRITZ: "Zis is my country; it's not your country! I'm goi-I'm here, I've been standing here for years and years doing zis every time. You k... you're making me very angry."
MOTHER: [unverständlich]
MOTHER #1: "Is this th... is zis ze Fazerland?"
FRITZ: "This is ze Fazerland, yes."
{"LADY": "Can I show you a sample of my country?"
FRITZ: "Are you Jewish?"
ZAPPA: "No, you ask him ..."
FRITZ: "What? Am I Jewish?! No! I'm not Jewish! Why do you ask me?"
MOTHER #1: "Well, I thought that ..."
SOMEONE: "Are you Jewish?"
FRITZ: "Show me a sample of your country."
"LADY": [Gelächter]
FRITZ: "O-ho! Oh my god! Oh! Is that your country? Oh my god! Oh!"
SOMEONE: "Look ..."
MOTHER #1: "Keep your eyes off of her ..."
FRITZ: "Who are you? Oh, you're from Texas."
MOTHER #1: "She's my girlfriend."}
MOTHER: [unverständlich]
ZAPPA: "Listen, you ought to check all the Mothers through customs. Hey! Line, line up as soon as you finished and go through customs."
MOTHER #1: "Are you, er, through with me, sir?"
FRITZ: "You may step over here to the right."
MOTHER #1: "Thank you."
{FRITZ: "THE RIGHT!" [oder möglicherweise "THE REICH!"]
"LADY": "How about me, porky?"
MOTHERS: [Gelächter]}
FRITZ: "My name is Fritz; open ze suitcase please?"
MOTHER #2: "Just a moment here, just a moment."
MOTHER: [unverständlich]
FRITZ: "[unverständlich] open ... what is this, there's 62 copies of Horseshit Magazine? What are you carrying Horseshit Magazine around for ..."
MOTHER #2: "It's a hoax. Hold it, hold it, here."
MOTHER: "Right there, please!"
FRITZ: "Where is it. What is this!"
MOTHER #2: "Hold it, hold it! [lacht] Hold it ... I'll never forget ya, Fritz."
FRITZ: "Hmm ... all right, next (you may close zis now) ..."
MOTHER #2: "All right."
FRITZ: "Next. Who's up? Oh, here he comes ... who are you? Meh... hand me your paper."
FALSETTO VOICE: [unverständlich]
DON PRESTON: "Here is my papers."
FRITZ: "Oh ..."
MOTHER: "[unverständlich] papers."
FRITZ: "Your name is Duke? What's zis tool here ..."
MOTHER: "Duke deWilde. [Gelächter]"
FRITZ: "Duke, Duke deWilde. Have you seen many German movies, d'you ever go to ze movies? Have you been ..."
DON PRESTON: "I never go to the movies."
FRITZ: "What is zis! you bring zese into Germany?"
MOTHER: "Don't wreck that [unverständlich] ..."
FRITZ: "Zese are Japanese tools. Why do you brink Japanese tools to Germany where we make the finest tools ever, you - what are you doing? That's ..."
FALSETTO VOICE: "32 [unverständlich] ..."
FRITZ: "... 60 marks, for you, oh my God, what's the matter with you?"
LARRY FRNOGA: [hustet]
FRITZ: "Oh my God, please, please, not here. Step - oh my God, what is zis! Oh, my god! Ääh! Ääh! Ääh! Ääh-ääh-ääh! Oh, my God! What are you doing! Oh ... who are you; what is your name; hand me your paper. Is your name Larry? Larry Frnoga?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "Yes."
FRITZ: "Larry Frnoga?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "Larry Frnoga. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "Oh my God, what are you doing ... what are you doing zat for?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "I'm beatin' the horse to make it go faster!"
FRITZ: "That's not a horse, that's a table!"
LARRY FRNOGA: "What's the difference? [Gelächter] Don't go too fast, does it, for a table?"
FRITZ: "What is this? Aah, zefrin! CL brand of [unverständliches „Deutsch"] ... ah right, nasal spray ..."
LARRY FRNOGA: "[schnieft] That's right. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "You have a cold?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "[schnieft] That's right. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "How long have you had a cold?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "About a year. [schnieft]"
MOTHER: [rülpst]
LARRY FRNOGA: [räuspert]
FRITZ: "You had a cold for a year?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "About. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "Are you trying to bring a cold in... [hustet] ... into zis country? [hustet] Oh my God, don't cough on me, man. [hustet]"
MOTHER: "A cold?"
MOTHER: [unverständlich]
FRITZ: "What does zis medal say. Says Berlin, Survival? Award? 1968."
LARRY FRNOGA: "[räuspert] That's where I got my cold. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "You were here before, in Berlin?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "That's right."
FRITZ: "What, what were you doing in Berlin?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "We gave a concert. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "Wh... You? Gave a concert in Berlin?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "That's right. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "To whom?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "The German people. [schnieft]"
FRITZ: "The German people?"
LARRY FRNOGA: "Yes!"
FRITZ: "Don't take ze German people lightly ... I say! Who is zis man here - is it Arzur? Arzur Tripp?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Arthur, Arthur."
FRITZ: "Arzur ... Tripp. It's a German name, is it not?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "English"
FRITZ: "Tripp?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Ja."
FRITZ: "Tripp?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Ja."
FRITZ: "Is a - is an - 'ja'?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "[kichern] Ja, ja-ja ..."
MOTHER: "[unverständlich] ... before too."
FRITZ: "Stop giggling!
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Sorry. [kichern]"
FRITZ: "You're having too much fun, you know, we arrest people for having to much fun here."
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "I beg your pardon."
FRITZ: "When you come to someone else's country, do you run around on ze grass, and make it dirty everywhere you go?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Nah, I stick pretty close to the bars."
FRITZ: "You know you people all look ... you - bars?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Heh, heh, heh ... you know ..."
FRITZ: "We have a lot of bars here ..."
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Y'sure do. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh - 'scuse me for laughin'."
FRITZ: "Don't laugh!"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Alright. I will ... I'll do that."
FRITZ: "Who is zis man here? Ze other man?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Eh ... he's our leader."
FRITZ: "He is your leader?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Yah.".
FRITZ: "Wh-what is his function? And how does he lead you?"
{ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Oh, it's kind of hazy."
FRITZ: "Hazy?"}
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "He directs us by s... with signals"
FRITZ: "What does he signals? What does it look ...? Why, what?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Well, they're for various vocal noises that we use."
FRITZ: "Vocal noises?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Uh-huh."
FRITZ: "Vat are some of ze noises?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "Er, 'peep'."
FRITZ: "'Peep'?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "'Poo-aah'."
FRITZ: "'Poo-aah'?"
MOTHERS: "Poo-aah! [räuspern]"
{FRITZ: "Oh! You are going to do zis for ze German people?"
ARTHUR DYER TRIPP III: "If you can dig it."}
FRITZ: "I see you all are very well organised; we all like order in Germany, you know."
{FRITZ: "Everysing is in its place in Germany."}
MOTHER: "I know."
FRITZ: "You have such a pleasant smile, may I see your papers?"
FALSETTO VOICE: "Well, you see, I, I don't exactly have my papers with me, I ... it seems ..."
FRITZ: "You don't have papers?"
FALSETTO VOICE: "I may have left them in my other bag."
MOTHER: "In your ..."
MOTHER: "He has no papers, huh ..."
FRITZ: "He has no papers."
MOTHER: "Ah."
FALSETTO VOICE: "I mean, if there was ... if there was something I could do for you, th..."
FRITZ: "Do you have any identification?"
FALSETTO VOICE: "Identification ... lemme see ..."
FRITZ: "It's a nice watch you have on."
MOTHER: "Was ist los?"
FALSETTO VOICE: "Well, It used to have a Mickey Mouse there, I don't ..."
FRITZ: "Mmm - I tell you what I'll do: If, if, if you give me zat watch ..."
MOTHER: "Nein!"
FRITZ: "That's a very strange German accent."
MOTHER: "You got to - ja. [Gelächter]"
FRITZ: "Are you sure ..."
ZAPPA: "Arrest him!"
MOTHER: "He was transport etwas ... [?]"
FRITZ: "Are you sure you're not a Russian?"
ZAPPA: "He's a spy!"
FRITZ: "He's a Russian, I zink."
MOTHER: "I think so. Get him!"
MOTHER: "Hanz up!"
FRITZ: "Oh, God."
FALSETTO VOICE: "What's ... what's goin on?"
{FRITZ: "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"
HANS: "HANS!"
FRITZ: "STOP! WE CAN SHOOT YOU!"
SOMEONE: "We can shoot you?"
FRITZ: "NO!"
SEVERAL: [Durcheinander-Gerede]
SOMEONE: "He said 'no'."
FRITZ: "Do you have any gold in your teeth?"
SOMEONE: "No, silver ..."
FRITZ: "Silver? Open your mouth."
SOMEONE: "Do you have any tattooes?"
SOMEONE: "Aaah ..."
SOMEONE: "Do you see used gum?"
SOMEONE: "No gum."
SOMEONE: "No gum."}
ROY ESTRADA (?): "You wanna enema? Hmm?"
MOTHER: "No, I'll take a cheeseburger."
{FRITZ: "Cheeseburger? Oh, it's a German dish, you know."}
FRITZ: "Why is the bow-tie growink from your neck?"
MOTHER: "I'm practicing to fly."
MOTHERS: "Ah ..."
LARRY FRNOGA: "[unverständlich] pony."
FRITZ: "Why is everyone in this group having bow-ties growink from zeir neck?"
MOTHER: "They're all weird!"
{FRITZ: "I know they're crazy, but this is not, er Aryan."
SOMEONE: "Foreign, you know".}
FRITZ: "Gimme your watch."
ZAPPA: "I still don't trust this guy's accent."
FRITZ: "Who is this? Come here!"
MOTHER: "Who's ... Jewish? [?] Who?"
FRITZ: "Come over here! Do you have a suitcase?"
MOTHERS: [husten, räuspern]
MOTHER: "We must watch this one."
FRITZ: "We m'watch zis one, ah right. Let's open ze suitcase ... Awright. What is this - oh, you too carrying many cigarettes! Er, what is this lyrics? Ah - these are lyrics: 'My ... my guitar want to kill yo' mama'?
MOTHER: "Ah ..."
FRITZ: "'My guitar wants to burn your dad'? 'I get real mean when he makes me mad.' This is - this is very good, this is very normal. German lyrics! You're all welcome to our country."
MOTHERS: [Gelächter]
FRITZ: "Don't laugh."
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